Madness

I never liked staying up late. Unless it is an all-night drinking binge, a good book, or a video-game relapse, you would never find me at midnight without my face in a pillow and my head in the clouds. So when I find myself at 1 in the morning staring at a brightly-lit ceiling, I know something’s bothering me. And with the past few days, it has been quite a lot.

I’ve quit my job recently. A lot of people found it surprising, but that’s just because I haven’t told anybody about it for a while. But truth be told, I too found it a bit early. But certain events have made me show my hand earlier, and now I find myself in the unemployed side of the river again. This means that I don’t have to try to crunch three articles in the morning (which is rare), nor do I no longer have to compete with Homar on who can stare at the monitor the longest without blinking (Hahaha just kidding Mar. Peace out man). I have been attached to MBSTek for ten months, and as with all attachments are you feel a sense of loss and sadness when you release yourself from it.

But I had to do it. Over and over again I say to myself that I had to do it. It’s not that I am fooling myself into thinking as such, but rather because I have to remind myself why. As a friend once said to me, sometimes you have to let go of something good to achieve something better. However, this time I am not looking for something better. I’m just looking for calm.

So far I haven't found it.

Oh well.