August 15, 2007


It was already past 10 in the evening when I looked at the clock. Time flies fast when you've got a Playstation 2 joystick on your hands. I pulled at the aluminum door of the rental store, and the cold wind came rushing at my face. I was only wearing a t-shirt, so I shivered a little. I started to rub my arms warm, put my cap on, and started the long walk home.

Last week the woman I love told me she was leaving, where it is she wouldn't tell me. But all I know is that I may never see her again.

I wanted to go straight to her house and beg for her to stay. Or at least see her face one last time. But instead I am standing outside a Playstation rental store on a rainy Monday night, trying to think of other things that are less important. At least the unimportant things don't hurt when you wake up in the morning.

She wants me to move on; to keep my heart whole and wait for the right girl for me to come. I wanted to tell her that I don't know where to start moving on. Because I never went anywhere with her in the first place.

In the end, what probably hurts is not that she's gone and no longer a part of my life, but rather the fact that it's the best thing that's ever happened to me in years.

And that I still love her. Probably for the rest of whatever's left of my life.

I still wanted to keep playing for another hour, but the store was already closing for the night. So quite reluctantly, I had to go home. And as I walked out into the darkness of the alleyway, I wonder if there are other things in this life that have closed.

It’s just hard to let go of something very precious especially when you have accepted that something as part of your being. But letting go is essential. Separation is needed. Just like a seed... it needs to separate from the fruit to grow, become a tree, and produce more.... If the seed stays with the fruit forever, they will both perish... cannot adjust to us; we adjust to fit in it.- Romalyn Casia

1 comment:

LeVamp Yigae said...

If the seed stays with the fruit forever, they will both perish... hmmm... interesting thought... it made me think... hehe